{"product_id":"i-dont-need-sex","title":"I Don't Need Sex","description":"\u003cp class=\"western\" style=\"orphans: 2; widows: 2;\" align=\"center\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-variant: normal;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Segoe UI, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, Open Sans, Helvetica Neue, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"letter-spacing: normal;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003e\u003cu\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDid we mention that shipping in USA is  -  FREE!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/u\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"western\"\u003e 💸 \u003cstrong\u003eSome folks are spending a fortune chasing romance, buying flowers, planning date nights, and trying to impress people. Meanwhile, this guy discovered a much more efficient system. Why bother when the government has already committed to the job full-time?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"western\"\u003e😆 \u003cstrong\u003eEqual parts political commentary, taxpayer therapy, and old-fashioned smartassery, this shirt is guaranteed to get laughs, eye-rolls, and the occasional \"You know what? He's got a point.\" Perfect for anyone who's looked at a paycheck, a tax bill, an insurance premium, a registration fee, or pretty much any government form and just started laughing like a lunatic.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"western\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"western\" style=\"widows: 2; orphans: 2; margin-bottom: 0.14in;\" align=\"left\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff3838;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"en-US\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHOOSE WHICH FABRIC YOU LIKE BEST - ALL HEATHER COLORS ARE A POLYESTER\/COTTON BLEND – ALL OTHERS ARE 100% COTTON\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"western\" style=\"widows: 2; orphans: 2; margin-bottom: 0.14in;\" align=\"left\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"western\" style=\"widows: 2; orphans: 2; margin-bottom: 0.14in;\" align=\"left\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e👕 \u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"en-US\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted on Bella + Canvas 3001 CVC: • Ultra-soft blend (52% Airlume cotton \/ 48% poly) • Lightweight, breathable, durable • Unique “Heathered” appearance • DTG printed with vivid detail and long-lasting ink\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"western\" style=\"orphans: 2; margin-bottom: 0.14in; widows: 2;\" align=\"left\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"en-US\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOR \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"western\" style=\"widows: 2; orphans: 2; margin-bottom: 0.14in;\" align=\"left\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e🩵 \u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"en-US\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted on Bella + Canvas 3001 Cotton: • 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (soft as a lullaby, hits like a jolt) • Lightweight feel (4.2 oz\/yd²), perfect for layering or wearing solo • Pre-shrunk to minimize surprises in the dryer • Side-seamed and shoulder-taped for structure and comfort • DTG printed with clean, bold ink that won’t flake out before you do\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"western\" style=\"widows: 2; orphans: 2; margin-bottom: 0.14in;\" align=\"left\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e🧼 \u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"en-US\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions: • Turn inside out before washing • Machine wash cold with like colors • Tumble dry low or hang dry like your mom used to • Do not iron the design unless you want regrets.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Army \/ S","offer_id":52339868827930,"sku":"64003947587918472703","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ S","offer_id":52339868860698,"sku":"11803641299186653179","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":52339868893466,"sku":"60502397069517818071","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ S","offer_id":52339868926234,"sku":"49144448107495130631","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest \/ S","offer_id":52339868959002,"sku":"32131463858978403071","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":52339868991770,"sku":"21363369204403200043","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 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