I Am So American I Shit Red White & Blue

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🇺🇸 Some people quietly hang a flag on the porch. Some people put a bumper sticker on the truck. And then there are the folks who are so unapologetically American that even their digestive system salutes the flag.

💥 Featuring Skid proudly waving Old Glory while armed with a sparkler and absolutely zero concern for subtlety, this shirt celebrates the kind of patriotic enthusiasm that makes the neighbors wonder if you're planning a cookout, a fireworks show, or a small-scale invasion.

🦅 Perfect for the Fourth of July, backyard barbecues, parades, tailgates, camping trips, or any occasion where "dialing it back a little" was never really an option. If you love freedom, fireworks, and making people laugh, congratulations—you've found your shirt.

CHOOSE WHICH FABRIC YOU LIKE BEST - ALL HEATHER COLORS ARE A POLYESTER/COTTON BLEND – ALL OTHERS ARE 100% COTTON

👕 Printed on Bella + Canvas 3001 CVC: • Ultra-soft blend (52% Airlume cotton / 48% poly) • Lightweight, breathable, durable • Unique “Heathered” appearance • DTG printed with vivid detail and long-lasting ink

🩵 Printed on Bella + Canvas 3001 Cotton: • 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (soft as a lullaby, hits like a jolt) • Lightweight feel (4.2 oz/yd²), perfect for layering or wearing solo • Pre-shrunk to minimize surprises in the dryer • Side-seamed and shoulder-taped for structure and comfort • DTG printed with clean, bold ink that won’t flake out before you do

🧼 Care Instructions: • Turn inside out before washing • Machine wash cold with like colors • Tumble dry low or hang dry like your mom used to • Do not iron the design unless you want regrets.